Friday, March 15, 2013

What motivates you?

Before I started the exercise challenges, when I was first trying to get back into doing exercise on a regular basis, I was trying out the reward system. I've tried many examples of this before; if I lose Xkgs I get thus and so. If I do blah blah exercise in this much time I'll do the other thing. This hasn't worked for me in the past.

I've since figured out I'm more of an immediate gratification kind of person.

On the picture below, above the coloured rectangles, you might be able to see strips of liquid paper. That's where I deleted "I cannot read any more books, or watch any more movies, until I reach 98kgs" and below the grid was "GOAL 98KGS!!!" This was initially designed to get me out of binging on books and movies which I'd substituted for food binges. No surprise there, it didn't work. I felt deprived and more inclined to binge.

The deprivation part of the message was clouding the reward part which was putting money aside each time I did exercise. Once I started exercising more regularly, I dropped the dollar amount down because I realised it was too much, both financially and as a token of my success.

See these coloured portions of the grid?

Each one of these rectangles represents 30 minutes of exercise completed.
Each rectangle means one dollar saved towards a reward for me.
A fitness related reward, because that's what floats my boat at the moment.
Equipment, or gym/pool membership, exercise clothes, the sky's the limit.
Each square I colour in, each dollar coin I put in the money box that's directly below the piece of paper hung on my bedroom wall--right near the light switch, so I see it all the time--is an investment in myself and my continued good health.
Picking up the pen and colouring in a square, followed by the rustle of the plastic coin bag then the clunking of the coin into the money box; that provides me with more satisfaction than I would ever have believed possible.

What are some things, big or small, that motivate you?


Sunday, March 10, 2013


I chose to put food in my mouth, instead of feel my emotions.

I chose to live in America, rather than make my fiance choose between me and his home country.

I chose to fake it, instead of making it.

I chose to fix other people's problems, instead of my own.

I chose to eat intuitively, rather than count calories.

I chose to move back home, whether my husband was coming with us or not.

I chose to let him make up his own mind, instead of giving him an ultimatum.

I chose to pay the expense of therapy, rather than continue to do it on my own.

I chose to live at home with my parents, instead of forcing my family into a situation we weren't equipped for yet.

I chose to stop being afraid of my disease, and started living within its constraints.

I chose to learn how to work around some of those constraints, instead of letting them define me.

I chose to only have one child, rather than risk my life and my health for her potential sibling.

I chose to change Kiddlywink's daycare attendance, to suit my exercise schedule.

I chose to learn portion control from Lite'n'Easy, rather than be disappointed I wasn't losing weight.

I chose for us to go to the park and play, rather than give up when we arrived after the pool had closed.

I chose to suggest McDonald's sundaes by the lake, rather than bemoan it was TOO HOT too do anything!

I chose to eat pizza for dinner tonight, rather than something healthier, that I didn't want.

I chose to ignore the inner voice that shouted "family size", after Alaskaboy said he would order a large.

I chose to listen to my intuition which told me Kiddlywink wanted veggies, and learned that I did too.

I chose to cook, then cool, cauliflower, instead of eating a salad I didn't want.

I chose to eat two pieces of pizza plus the cauliflower, instead of gorging on four.

I chose to eat two pieces rather than one and a half, instead of eating more later because I'd felt denied.

I chose a few bites of emotional eating, it was better for my mental health than portion control tonight.

We all make hundreds of choices every day.

I'm learning to make better ones.

I'm making choices to be a healthy person, rather than the choices of a person on a diet.


Because I chose to believe Whitney when she sang about the greatest love of all.

I make my own choices.

Not a scale, not a diet, not anyone else.

I'm me, and it's MY choice.


Friday, March 08, 2013

Autumnal Advances Update.

Halfway through Autumnal Advances and it still feels like summer! But, there has been several positive advances for me. :)

Week 1.
Day 1: 1/2 hour wii fit, including 10 minute session of boxing, YAY! It was hard, and the foot choreography and the wii remotes not registering some of my punches was giving me the shits so I modified it, but I did it for the full ten minutes!
Day 2: 1 hour water aerobics.
The rest of the week I rested the sore tendons in my hands. (D'oh! It's only as I'm writing this, I realised it was probably from the boxing!)
Week 2.
Most of the week I had a stomach bug.
Fit in Day 1 on the final day of the week: 1 hour water aerobics.
Week 3.
Day 1: 1 hour water aerobics (Was able to front foot touch)
Day 2: 4.3 km walk in 1 hour. Personal best in over four years!
Week 4.
Day 1: 1/2 hour fast walk..with Jack the dog who pulls REALLY hard, so it was an upper body workout too. LOL
Day 2: 1/2 hour walk
Day 3: 1/2 hour swim..Kiddlywink also had personal bests today, learned new skills in the pool; including among others a) doing a bum bounce on the bottom of the pool, b) touching her hands to the bottom of the pool! (With a little directional assist from my hands around her waist..but still!)
Day 4: 1 hour water aerobics. Made SURE this happened even though we had a chockablock full day.

AND Alaskaboy and I even managed to have our first real date in over six months. Lunch at Taco bill in the city which was lovely in and of itself...but! It was a hot day and I parked over four blocks away and we walked TO to the restaurant AND back. Wouldn't have even contemplated that two months ago.

Physically I'm noticing all kinds of changes to my body.
This week for the first time since I was about 4 months pregnant, when looking down I can see the parts of the lap sash on my seat belt that wraps across my hips. Still can't see the rest of it, but seeing any part is HUGE news for me.
My arms are starting to look like my arms again.
My feet don't feel AS sore when I stand for long periods of time.
While standing, it's more comfortable to pick up and hold Kiddlywink...although she's growing like a weed and doesn't fit in my lap as well any more!
I've had to get rid of my larger size of bras because they really don't fit any more.
I'm starting to notice my waist again.
Standing at a pedestrian crossing yesterday I was shocked when I realised my feet were standing closer together than usual, not braced apart to bear my weight. And straight after that I noticed I was walking across the crosswalk..not waddling quite as much as even three weeks ago. (If that makes sense!)
All my clothes are fitting even better.
My foam wedge isn't as comfortable in bed any more, I have less padding again so I'm starting to be like the princess and the pea once more.

And today, on day 1 of week five, I walked back to the shopping centre again, and this time it seemed a comfortable walk. It helped that we took the bus home again because it was too hot after finishing shopping..but even on the walk TO the shop I commented to my mum that it seemed like a doable walk, not an OMG-will-I-make-it walk.