Thursday, June 22, 2017

Make like Lego. Built It One Block At A Time.

Control. It's one of the things I've been talking a lot about with my psychologist. People with auto-immune conditions often feel a lack of control. So we overcompensate in other ways. I'm currently learning to let go of things I can't control. Being so very sick these last few weeks has helped immensely with that actually.
I'm learning what I can control. One of the things I can control is when I go for a walk. Once I get back home of a morning, all the what-ifs and but-I-have-tos and it's-too-hards start kicking in. And yet another day goes by without a walk.
Self defeating, crazy making, control issues, "If I can't do what I want then I won't do anything." Usually at these point I go gungho and have challenges and all sorts of tables and plans and points and schedules. Because I love that stuff too But again, that's a form of control.
This time, I've simply put up a printed out table. In each section I'm going to write the date, the distance, and the time.
I'll use google maps to calculate the distance I actually walk.
The big change? I'll drop Kiddlywink off at school, and simply walk around the block. That's it. Simple start. One block. I hope I can do it every day. But if I can't. Oh well. Each day that I can. One block. 600m. This morning it took me 9m56s to do it. It's a start. And even if I never progress any farther or faster or I go slower and need a walker. It's one block at a time. I'm going to be in the moment, enjoy my walk. And then get on with my day.
This'll help in several positive ways. I have to have breakfast at a reasonable time, and actually be dressed for the day. There may be days I come back home and go back to bed. I get that. But on the days I can. There'll be me and that one block.