Sunday, June 22, 2014

It really is a journey.

Every step I take down the "diet" highway is a step I'm taking towards self knowledge. Everything I've tried so far has taught me something about myself, my relationships with others and about how me and food get along. I don't look at any step so far as a failure. I look at it as slow increase in knowledge. Just like an author writes drafts or a scientists does experiments..negative results are still information, still a result. Still progress. I still know more about msyelf than I did before.

My latest step is Weight Watchers. Weight Watchers: Joined online date 7th June, first meeting 11th june, 1st real weigh in 18th june: weight loss 200g/ half a lb.

Thoughts: Skim milk gives me heart burn. full cream milk too creamy. 2% milk better, 1% is best but can't get in uht form any more. I look at it like a glass of wine, people who love wine budget for it within their daily/weekly allowances, I allow for real butter and 2% milk and full fat greek yoghurt, because that's what my body likes at the moment.

First week showed me VERY clearly how much I binge of a night. It also taught me that sticking too closely to the points system, without balancing my meals (aka binging at night, whether it's on zero points food or not) means a great weight loss, but feeling sick, head spins, and iron depletion by mid week. So I ate the meat my body was craving for (Turns out the quarter pounder with cheese and fries was exactly what my energy depleted body was craving. and then steak for the next three nights running lol)

Second week taught me I binge because I wasn't eating a balanced breakfast. Most mornings I wouldn't eat enough, and then other mornings I'd eat way too much. My body likes a slice of toast, a bowl of cereal, some fruit or veg, and a protein. I mean REALLY likes it. I feel full and satisfied for ages. My current favourite cereals are all bran, berry weetbix bites and Heart 1st. (The first you never used to be able to get me to touch with a 50ft pole! Slowing down and chewing my food a minimum of 20 times has allowed me to appreciate the sweetness inherent in the bran.)

I like balanced meals in general, all too often I would go in binge cycles, a lot of meat this day, a lot of carbs this day, cheese, sweet stuff etc. By structuring my meals a little...but still within the intuitive appetites, my energy levels are more consistent throughout the day. I'm ready for bed at a decent hour and waking up at 7am. Wow. Sleep apnea still plays a part, but my body isn't also struggling to digest the mountain of food I used to eat in the few hours before bedtime, so I think that's helping.

This third week has made me realise that there's a really good chance that I will be able to stick it out using this method. Counting calories didn't really work for me because I'd become obsessed with the numbers. WHether it was making sure I got as close to the daily total, or feeling down because I went over the total, or trying to justifying juggling the numbers at the end of the week/month to make them fit somehow.

The advantage with the points system at WW is that I'm finding I'm reaching more for fruit and veggies, because they're 0 points. I don't have to count them, only add them, nor do I have to think about it. If I'm hungry I'll reach more for a piece of fruit or a vegetable as a snack now because I know that it's 0 points. I reckon that first week I ate my body weight in pumpkin and bananas. LOL I now bulk out my meals with salad and when I say salad I mean ALLL the veggies my god I never knew salads could be so filling, soup, fruit, etc. I'm also finding that because of my increase in fruits and veg, my skin feels better, I'm more refreshed, even though I'm still sleeping for shit. I actually had the energy to cook up a heap of dishes for midweek dinners yesterday, AND hang out washing on the line! OMG! I CAN NOT remember the last time that all happened in the one day. Well, I'm sure it was sometime last year anyway.

Week three also taught me that I don't like the WW snacks. I bought two different kinds, a fruit muesli cookie and a mint toffee bar. They tasted fine, but for the 2 points per bar there are SO many things that I could eat that would satisfy me for longer. And when I do want an indulgence, I'd rather budget the points and have the traditional version of something, than the low fat version, and thoroughly enjoy it. Real food with real flavour without all those emulsifiers and fake ingredients. YUM! I can see how they work though for other people, especially if they're on the run and don't have time to make their own biscuits, or do really like the light flavour. I remember when I DID used to love the low fat snacks, my body has simply changed it's mind on what it wants put in its mouth in regards to sweet indulgences. Chips on the other hand, the more chemical numbers and powdered food like substances the better. LOL

I'm even eating better quality meats now. Less easy sausages and quick convenience frozen fish etc. Roast topside, mince, chicken breasts, even offal again because they're rich in nutrients but lower in points. Definitely eating much better proportions of carbs than I ever have.

I'm not too keen on having to weigh in every week, so I'm kinda just using that as an information plot point. I'll be looking at all the other indicators I would normally use to judge success, fit of clothes, energy levels, etc.

So all in all a good start to the next step in learning about how to eat better for me and my health.

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