Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Can I turn 'Can't Satisy Anyone!' into 'Confidence Spawns Achievement!"

With five different people in the house, all with different dietary needs, it's sometimes a challenge to make something on a regular basis that we can all eat.

Dad is a pescetarian.
Mum is a pescetarian too. She also has a minor and major gene for haemochromatosis...which means that even though she doesn't need to have blood drawn regularly, she still has to watch her iron intake (Do you know how many things are iron fortified these days??) On top of that she's also salt sensitive and pre-diabetic.
I'm often low in iron, need adequate protein to ensure my muscles stay healthy as long as I can, and other than that am an omnivore.
Alaskaboy is an omnivore who pretty much likes everything.
Kiddlywink is a toddler.
With our dog Scruffy only dying two days ago--she ate kibble, cooked meat, often alternating with whatever we ate--I also still find myself thinking of things for her to eat. {sad}

Add in not only the dietary needs but also our differences in taste..for several foods there's at least one person in the house who dislikes something that the others adore; Coriander/cilantro, blueberries, pineapple, strawberries, lemons and corn, among others.

For awhile now we've been plodding along, making the same-old-same-old. We try to allow for everyone's needs, but that often gets chucked in the too hard basket and we go with easy things to make. So we've come to realise we're lacking in the things we really should be eating and eating more of the things we shouldn't. We've been shopping healthily, but eating too few veggies or fruit so they end up chucked in the bin.

Hmm, how to change these habits we've settled comfortably into doing?

Serendipity strikes again.

Nearly a month ago we had someone come to the door wanting us to purchase something that's been a dream of mine for YEARS! As those of you who know me could guess, I was highly excitable for days as I waited in an agony of anticipation for my other family members to see how fabulous it would be...to have a box of fruit and veggies delivered to our door once a week.

YES!

That's right!

I finally live in an area where I can get a CSA delivery. Woohoo!

However, they weren't excited one little bit. They couldn't be arsed with any of it. With their unwillingness to change the way things have always been--despite me making a case for it saving me time with grocery shopping and loving the challenge of cooking seasonally--they complained about how much it would cost...cue Yul Brynner, "Et cetera, Et cetera, Et cetera!"

So, in the sense of team spirit, I set aside the pamphlet and moped for a bit, but then tried my best despite it all, until I got to the point of finding out about my codependency and thought "Fuck 'em!" I'm the stay-at-home part of this communal family, so I'll do what suits me! And what suited me was to sit back and not cook for a week. If I was hungry, I ate, but if Kiddlywink was hungry and there were people home other than us two, I said "see someone else, Mummy's not cooking this week."

And it really opened my eyes. I didn't realise how much of my self worth I was placing on making other people happy with food. And if they didn't respond with an appropriate level of enjoyment, I got depressed. When I got depressed the frenzy of making things to tempt them was over and they had to fend for themselves...and eventually they'd get sick of it and I'd be needed once more and I'd go off in a flurry of ecstatic cooking and the cycle would repeat itself all over again.

Not. Healthy. At. All.

Me going on strike probably wasn't healthy either, but it was different to other times I'd done it merely for throwing a tantrum's sake. I sat back and watched how we all reacted. What really stuck it to me was when Kiddlywink said in a very confused tone of voice, "Why isn't Mummy cooking?" and when I realised how uncomfortable I felt waiting for someone else to prepare meals. a) would the food be ready for when I was hungry and b) Now what did I do with myself with all that free time?

I took over Alaskaboy's "domain" of doing the washing/laundry...and the uncomfortable realisations went down the line. We all had our pet household tasks that we used to avoid other chores/conversations/stuff that made us uncomfortable and to build up our egos with how we do it "better" than others. So the whole family is in flux trying to figure out how to work better together as a team.

First thing up was that I ordered the CSA fruit and veggie box because I wanted it. (Alaskaboy said, "It's like Christmas, I'm looking forward to next week's delivery of the mystery box.")
Second thing was I announced to everyone, "I won't be cooking dinner every night, nor will there always be leftovers for those nights I don't cook."
There have been other changes as well and we're slowly figuring our way through it.

Above all is my desire to stop taking people's crap, including my own. I'm figuring out what I need and going after it. I'm finally learning that I can't change anyone else. Change comes from within. As my Gramps always said, "You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink."

So, yes I am working on changing "Can't Satisfy Anyone" into "Confidence Spawns Achievement."

Today's post brought to you by the letters, C, S, and A.

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