Saturday, November 27, 2010

Numbness still progressing.

Tests were negative for calcium or electrolyte deficiency. Lack of pain meant no pinched nerves, so no scans or MRI. Diagnosed numbness/nausea/stress. Sent me home told me to follow up with doc on Tuesday like planned. Take lorazepam if I feel anxious.

*Asked doc and nurse, before receiving shot, if lorazepam was contraindicated for sleep apnea, they said it would be fine.
looked it up and yep, contraindicated for sleep apnea sufferers.
Was kinda nervous about it being out of my system enough to sleep safely, and stayed up late.

Each day it spreads a little more and the previous bits get more numb.

Hands and forearms, inner biceps, chest, both shoulders, upper back, back of neck, main numbness on scalp started radiating outward from mowhak pattern. Temples, cheekbones, forehead, eyelids, cheeks, teeth, gums, chin, nose, sense of taste and smell are like after I had the antibiotic poisoning. Perineum, left heel and outer toes. Sense of touch has altered over whole body basically, with the left side being approximately half again as affected as the right side.

Still no pain. That's the bit that seemed to really confuse the ER doc.

Breathing feels a little weird now too as lining of mouth/throat, tongue, nostrils etc are numbish this afternoon as well.

This evening I feel kinda numb emotionally. Am thinking I'm a little bit shocky. Afraid of where this is going and what's happening. Want to march back to the hospital and say "do all the tests in the world to figure out what's going on," but know that to them, it's not an emergency, so they won't do anything more than they did yesterday.

Last night I started wondering if this is continued on from the B6 overdose I figured out I'd had the other month. But, it seems B6 toxicity only effects extremities. Maybe it's a combo of the nasal mask pressing on my face when I wore it, plus sleeping in that sitting up position, plus the B6 toxicity, or? or? or?

Been looking up all kinds of disorders/diseases/syndromes, but none seem to fit exactly. Trying not to worry, but can't help it.

Trying to enjoy as much time/touch with Kiddlywink as I can, just in case.

REALLY hoping it's something easily cured.

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Friday, November 26, 2010

Off to the hospital.

Can't wait until Tuesday, numbness is getting worse. Heading off to hospital to see if they can figure out what's going on.

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Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Trying Again.

We cobbled together another attempt to make the hose lift work. This time I could even lay comfortably on my side. I don't know how much of that is the decreased sensitivity in my face and how much is finding a better position for the hose.

Will post again in the morning to let yas know how it went.

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Freaking. The. Fuck. Out.

Well, the cobbled together thingy didn't work..which leads me to be far less hopeful for effectiveness of hose lift. Slept really poorly last night raised up on pillows. Awoke with even more numb spots in arms, face, hands. Can't see regular doc until next Tuesday. Spoke to dentist, can't do anything for me until appointment on the 9th. Am awaiting a call back from sleep doctor..who probably won't say much except for "sleep the best you can, numbness or apnea won't kill you any time soon, wait for dental device." Was pretty much all he said last time too. But, I can't help but flounder around then call the experts and hope they can help SOMEhow.

Oh AND our nicely defrosted deep freezer now has putrid fishy smelling insulation in the lid. Will be cheaper and easier to replace whole freezer than lid and insulation.

{SOB}

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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

A little more hopeful.

I did a whole lot of research online last night and this morning, and came across something called a cpap hose lift. There are a few different types out there, and many people have built their own versions. I chose this style because it folds down easily for travel.


It'll take a few days to arrive--even more now that I remembered about thanksgiving this week--so in the meantime we're gonna try and cobble something together. The idea behind the hose lift is that it takes the weight of the hose off the mask, plus also prevents you from rolling on or getting tangled in it for those that have that particular problem. Am hopeful that with only the weight of the mask, it will erase the pressure issue that was causing the numbness. Kinda like easing your waistband after a big meal. LOL

Spoke to my dentist about it and she said definitely try that out. And if that doesn't work there is the cpappro to try (mouth guard) as well as a few oral devices to help with tongue positioning, if it comes down to it surgery to fix my deviated septum might even help. As she put it, even if we get a 50% improvement on some of the issues that cause my sleep apnea (narrow passages, small mouth, long and large tongue, overweight) then hopefully we can get me down to mild or moderate apnea which means its a lot less scary.

Then I got a few lidocaine shots and next thing I know my heart is racing, I'm trembling and I felt all hot and bothered. Seems that me no likee the epinephrine that went along with the lidocaine. It probably didn't help that, due to stress, all I ate yesterday was two pieces of grilled cheese and tomato toast and a single chocolate chip cookie. Breakfast this morning was only a small glass of water and one and a half slices of raisin toast.

My dentist was concerned at how I reacted so she put my fillings off. That made me like her as a dentist even more plus the reason I'd already thought she was good; her empathy for her patients, she treats Kiddlywink like a person and she doesn't push for procedures if she doesn't think they're necessary. Oh, and add in the fact that she noticed that I'd lost weight since I saw her five weeks ago. :)

We made an appointment for next month. That'll give me time to test out the new contraption and it's a few days after my parents arrive so I'll be less stressed overall. Fingers crossed!

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Monday, November 22, 2010

So frightened and Frustrated.

For me, CPAP therapy works. I have my CPAP machine sitting beside my bed, waiting patiently for me to use it. The nasal mask that I got the other month makes my upper lip numb and sends shooting pain up into my face. And, it also has made my bite worse once more.

So, the last few weeks I've been sleeping propped up on a huge pile; couch cushion, a large toy panda pillow, floor cushion and then my pillow. Plus under my butt is another pillow and under my knees too. Basically by the time I'm done it's like I'm sitting up in a hospital bed. This has allowed me to sleep better. Not as great as when I'm on CPAP but better than when flat in bed.

I've been losing weight, got more energy etc etc. I'd even planned not to take my CPAP to Minneapolis. a) to avoid beagle hair possibly getting into the machine and b) because I'm probably going to need a mask that is part mouth guard part nose mask. (which will take time to make and using the other mask will move my teeth even more.)

I've noticed a little numbness in my face recently, but assumed it was leftover from using the nasal mask. The last two days it gotten even worse, and this morning my left-hand pinky and ring finger pads are partially numb too. Now I've realised it's most probably from the pressure on the back of my neck from my new sleeping position.

This morning I had an emotional meltdown. I'm so angry, frightened, frustrated. So frightened of what could happen to me, especially if the mouthguard mask doesn't work. As far as I can tell it's my last option for the masks.

I'm frightened of what could happen to my body in between now and getting that mask.

I'm scared that I could die far too young. Or worse have a stroke and leave me in need of permanent care. I'm afraid of any more of my body going numb.

I'm angry that the therapy that's supposed to be treating me is making more problems. Angry that I even have this problem in the first place. Sickened and miserable that I'm resenting the pregnancy for making the sleep apnea worse, if I had it pre-pregnancy, or possibly giving it to me in the first place.

SO frustrated that my machine is sitting there and taunting me with a 100% effective therapy and I can't use the fucker!

I have an appointment with my dentist tomorrow for fillings and to talk over my options, but I'm nauseated by the hope that the new mouthguard thingy could work, and by the fear that it won't.

I'm hoping that in years to come I'll look back on this and laugh. That I'll be able to use my new exquisite appreciation of a catch-22 situation to write a fabulous novel. I'm really hoping that I can live a long, healthy, happy life and participate in my daughter's life and watch her grow up.

As I whispered to the universe moments before the anesthesiologist knocked me out before the c-section, "I want to live."

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Wednesday, November 10, 2010

World's Most Expensive Brussel Sprouts EVER!

Or, my misadventurous week in cooking!

Flushed with success at the wonderful bounty that filled our fridge, and a little surprised at how expensive fresh fruit and veggies are all of a sudden, I decided to try out some new recipes last week. With how expensive they were to buy I also wanted to make sure we used them all up and didn't allow any spoilage like we've done in the past.

Veggie-based dishes were the go because Alaskaboy gets catered a lot of meat at work and I tend to prefer my meat meal at lunch time. First up was this cabbage and sweet potato curry recipe I'd found online. The flavour was good, but I couldn't eat more than a few bites. Literally, two tentative bites and I was done. Instead of using 2 teaspoons of curry paste...I mistakenly remembered the curry amount as 2 TABLESPOONS.

Two tablespoons of curry in such a small amount of veggies is NOT fun, especially since we don't use your average mild Keen's curry. I love hot food, but this was beyond even me. We packaged it up in SMALL servings then froze it for later consumption.

I'd bought a Costco-sized bag of brussel sprouts and planned on making only half with our usual cooking method of sauteing them in garlic butter. First up though, I made half with something new that sounded delicious. Not only delicious but Mary, (from A Merry Life) who quite honestly states her beginner abilities when it comes to cooking, had successfully cooked the recipe and found them delicious and simple to make. Sounded like a plan to me!

So, I copied out the recipe Mary used and set to work surprising Alaskaboy with a delicious plate of mixed roasted veggies for dinner.

The first bummer was that it reminded me of cooking Christmas dinner in Australia. For some reason the weather had turned revoltingly hot, but I wanted roast veggies, so buggerit, I was havin' veggies. The second problem was that he ended up working about two hours overtime, with a 5:30am start time the next morning, and consequently fell into bed the minute he got home.

The brussels were delicious by the way. So, I saved some on a plate for him to eat.

And saved them.

And saved them.

And saved them....

By the time Saturday evening rolled around the slight funky smell in the fridge had gotten worse. So, I threw out the defrosted half serve of curry that was left(something else he'd intended to eat); the brussel sprouts; the slightly brown limes and anything else I could think of that had combined to make the smell.

But I'd saved the brussels only to lose everything else. And I mean everything in the fridge and the freezer. The only thing left unaffected was the unopened tubs of yoghurt and a bottle of freshly opened limeade. Even the unopened cartons of milk were feral.

It took several days for the smell to dissipate.

A saucer of brussel sprouts that cost us nearly $700 in thrown out food. I think that equals The Most Expensive Brussel Sprouts EVAH!

This is the fridge/freezer this afternoon. (Slowly starting to restock it.) I'm now taking a break in the middle of scrubbing out the whole thing. Even more fun? My uncle and a cousin are stopping by for dinner tomorrow night on their last night in the US before returning home to Australia. Thankfully it's only the fridge that's bare.

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