Friday, March 20, 2009

Bummer! Plus Debut of the Dork Mermaid!

My lovely frilly bathers arrived. I discovered a crop top underneath was necessary for decency's sake, thankfully before I left the bedroom. But I decided to wait out a couple of days bed rest, due to spotting, before going swimming.

I even bought new pool shoes from Costco so I could do some more of the pool walking I'd enjoyed last month.

And then, those wonderful witch hazel wipes were doing such a good job, I completely forgot I had a haemorrhoid while showering and somehow managed to scrub just so with my washcloth that all of a sudden I had a bleeding 'rrhoid. First time ever. Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck. Ahh, the glamorous side of pregnancy.

OBGYN's receptionist suggested I see a proctologist and gave me a couple numbers to try. Wait time? Over a week.(During which time the bleeding would probably stop anyway.) So, I did some research on the internet and asked around family and friends for those that had experienced one before, and they all suggested ingest lots of fluids and fibre plus keep using the witch hazel wipes, even perhaps getting some witch hazel liquid to pat on there to help speed the healing/closing along. Apaprently, proctologist is mainly to check nothing else is going on other than a 'rrhoid.

After the bleeding stopped I waited over a week, still using the wipes for good measure, until I felt confident enough of a scab/closure to attempt a swim. So badly did I want to go for a swim this particular day, I put my swimsuit on the minute I go out of bed. I had to put it on in a hurry because I had to go to the bathroom RIGHT THEN. And during that morning bathroom trip I discovered the first great thing about a two piece swimsuit. LOL.

Strangely, all I wanted for breakfast that morning was a donut and a small amount of leftover spaghetti. Turned my nose up completely at the half chicken breast I'd PLANNED on having with the spag, even waiting half an hour afterward to see if I wanted it. Nuh.

So off to the pool I went. Finishing my bottle of Gatorade before I even got there! WTF? I guess it's been dry recently. Luckily I had two bottles of water as well. I chucked on my pool shoes, amused to notice I was colour coordinated, and went out to the pool. The lifeguard asked where I'd been. I explained about having to wait a while for new swimsuit due to the other one no longer fitting because of pregnancy. He was pleased to see me back.

He also kept a little closer eye on me than normal just to make sure I was okay. I know this because I'd stopped to catch my breath at the other end from normal, also talked a little with the guy in the next lane, and the lifeguard came up to ask if I was all right. When I told him that I get out of breath quicker, he laughed and suggested I should get the baby to help me kick.

When I told him I'd got the shoes to do walking in the water, he said that was also probably why I was having more trouble swimming. Wearing shoes = hard to swim. Oh yeah!! Of course! D'oh! Not only is Kiddlywink helping me ride extra high in the water, the pool shoes make my feet float so my kicking isn't anywhere near as efficient.

{preens} I do know that I'm an excellent example of increasing displacement = more bouyancy at the moment though. Made me feel less stupid when I realised the practical implications of that and how easy it was to take the shoes off (and put back on) while in the water. Especially shoes that when tugged underwater float in a convenient position to be put on!

But I can honestly say, I don't know how people swim comfortably in these tankini thingies! A frilly skirted one piece is bad enough with the excess material floating about and interfering with strokes. But when that excess material floats up your midriff and TICKLES you while swimming as well? WTF!

After two laps I gave up. All hail the Dork Mermaid! Crop top underneath tankini plus tankini top tucked into bottoms, with bottoms doing their best Steve Urkel trousers impression AND to top it all off, hair that woulda done a toddler proud with all the little pony tails I needed to keep it outta my face. Honestly, other than the pregnant bits, I looked like I was playing dress up in my big sister's swimsuit.

BUT it got the job done! I could swim and walk comfortably, I only needed to retuck myself in every six laps or so...

And when I got home? I inhaled two donuts, then some Vita Brits with hot milk. My meals this week do seem to be having an inordinate amount of fat and carbs* in them. (Is about this point bubba starts to put on fat/weight, so am guessing that's a normal thing.) But because I went swimming on top of that? I was voracious! Meals are still the same size, but I'm now definitely eating 6 meals a day rather than 4-5.

And drinking? Being a mouth breather with the increased respiratory of a pregnant woman plus the weather is now heating up...I'm going through three applications of a Aveeno lip balm a night AND minimum 800mls of water. But, now that I figured that out, I'm sleeping much better, with surprisingly less wakeups of a night and less pee trips overall during the whole day. Can only conclude that drinking to my fill each time I wake up over the course of the night means my body's no longer forcing me to drink a whole liter in the hour prior to bedtime out of fear of becoming dehydrated over night. Smart body..silly me for taking weeks to figure it out!


EDIT: *Of course, this post took me two days to write, and because I mentioned the bit about the carbfest? Today happens to be Protein Pig Out Day! Figures!

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