Saturday, October 18, 2008

A Celebration of Me.

Don't really have anything celebratory planned for today, other than making myself a steak dinner. Perhaps I'll even defrost some of the cake in the freezer, if I feel like it.

I remember when living at home a birthday was always a special thing. Cake, presents, loved ones gathered to sorta celebrate your day, but mostly to hang out and share their affection with you. Perhaps even a gathering on a different night out with friends for dinner as well. On a good year it was a birthday week! Several nights all celebrating you.

Birthdays are another day I feel kinda lonely. All the ones I want to celebrate it with are elsewhere. I miss the people and the conversations and hugs, and I miss the glee of fondling wrapped presents that are just for me on my special day. I love everything about presents. Taking the time to select just the right one for each person, wrapping it in paper and ribbons they'll hopefully like, and then watching them open them. Or at least knowing they'll open them full of excitement at the promise of what's nestled inside.

Alaskaboy truly believes that one of my Talents is presents. Whether buying or making something, I'm usually pretty good at getting what a person will at least like, if not love. And I think that's part of the reason why I love getting wrapped presents in return. The promise of something chosen with forethought for me by those I love. And of course wrapped goodies allow for fondling! The sheer joy of the pretty paper is even surpassed by the ecstasy that is fondling my gift and trying to figure out what's inside. (How about you, are you a fondler?)

This year, as usual, the present from my parents will be late. I received a card from my in-laws, with a cheque inside. And the cheque, like a gift card, is always fabulous to receive because then it can translate into books which I'll have a blast picking out and reading. I fully appreciate the love and respect that comes with the giftcard and/or cheque because it's acknowledging they know me well enough to get me something I'll love. But sometimes? I still miss an actual wrapped gift and all its attendant pretties/thrills.

One gift I'm getting this year is Dr Kay's presence here for a convention in a couple of weeks. So that drags the birthdayness out for over two weeks. Woohoo! I guess what brought this post up is at the writing group I belong to is the girls there wished me happy birthday in cute ways, and I realised that's the sucky thing about working from home alone. There's not even an office party.(Not that I could eat the cake anymore anyway, but still.) No drinks after work. No face to face socialising. My usual gripe. And another way in which I guess being grownup wasn't what I expected it to be.

And so today I'm going to spend my birthday doing something that's a little unexpected for me. I'm going to spend the day like a lot of Chinese people do. Not as a day of celebration, but as a day of reflection and introspection. A quiet day doing what I want to do in my own home, enjoying my own company. And appreciating all the wonderfulness I do have in my life. Presents and pretty paper are lovely, but I have some pretty special gifts that money cannot always buy. My health, my friends and family, a happy home, easily accessible food and clean water, and my life. And I'm thankful every day for them.

How about you all. Are birthdays a special day or a day you'd rather forget? What does the anniversary of the day of your birth mean to you?

3 Nibbles:

kathrynoh said...

I love birthdays and always celebrate them, even if it's just on my own.

Is your writing group online or in person, because even getting out for some one on one contact with other writers might help :D Plus you could organise a writer's end of year party!

Joc said...

I love birthdays, I always try to make them special for the people around me, most especially my kids, on their birthdays they are the kings and queens of the world.

My husband was pretty crap at organising birthday things for me so for a long time I just wished my birthday over, but now he has improved heaps, and even though I have to tell him exactly what I want to happen, rather than him working it out for himself, my birthdays now are always a special occasion.

Happy Happy Birthday, sending you really happy thoughts for a wonderful day.

xxx

Erin said...

I'm so sorry I missed your birthday! Happy belated birthday Kada!