Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Magic Mirror, What're Some Good Qualities Of Mine?

An open letter that I've just sent to many people I know. If any of you, my nine readers--ooh how about that? Sauron had nine black riders I've got nine lovely readers!-- wishes to respond, please do so via the email link on the righthand taskbar. Thankee kindly. :)

Now, onto the letter.

As you may or may not know, over the last eighteen months I've been working hard at overcoming my low self esteem and working through the issues that lead me to emotional overeating, aka binge eating disorder. I've made a lot of progress in many areas, but some I'm still having trouble with. One of those is self acceptance.

I've spent a little over two decades speaking to myself in very negative ways. Due to this, I'm having trouble with one of the most important steps on the road to recovery: Positive Affirmation. My thinking and beliefs in regards to myself are distorted enough, that I'm having trouble recognising my positive personality traits and attributes. I feel like the heroine of a story who's been handed the magical doodad that will help her save the day, but the doodad has come without an instruction manual.

Since we cannot afford for me to see a therapist to help me with this--and the self help books all suggest talking positively to yourself in the mirror, which thanks to distorted self-image, I'm having difficulty doing--I'm seeking in you, my family/friends/acquaintances, guides to reading this doodad. You all know me to varying degrees of intimacy, but you all know me as a person. You see my interactions with the world at large, and yourselves. I'm asking you to be my magic mirror, to show me my positive attributes.

Please do not feel obligated to respond. I understand if you don't wish to partake in this exercise.

If you do wish to do so, please email or mail me a letter with however many words, in whatever form, you feel comfortable using. Don't like words, how about a picture you feel embodies something good about me? Perhaps share a good memory or anecdote you have. Maybe even list some way I've had a positive affect on your own life. Whatever you wish to say. But, please do not include any negative descriptions or ways in which you think I could improve myself. (If you think this is a stupid or intrusive idea, then I apologise for sending you this email. In the spirit of this exercise, I ask that you would delete it without informing me of your thoughts on the matter.)

I'm needing a lantern made of your words to show me the path to appreciating myself.

Thank you for listening, and I look forward to anything you care to send me.