Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Addendum to yesterday's post.

If you haven't read yesterday's post, please do so before reading this.

When I was dieting, chocolate raisins was the one thing I never allowed myself to have. Sure I'd occasionally split a small box of raisinets with Alaskaboy at the movies. By occasionally, I mean very rarely, I think I had them maybe three times since moving here nearly four years ago. And only one of those was when I was counting calories, and I freaked out with the exercise for several days afterwards.

The reason I never allowed them is because they're the one thing I never trusted myself to stop at just a serving. I adore them, always have. I even love carob-covered raisins!

That is why I know how very important this week has been for me in my intuitive eating progress. I trusted myself to have a 3-point-something pound box of them in the house. We're talking a Costco-sized container of choc-covered raisins. Not only did I have them in the house, I gave myself permission to eat as many of them as my body could damn well want.

Another fistful? Go ahead m'dear. Here, perhaps a rice bowl would be an easier container to eat them out of, especially when writing. Just plunk it on the table beside the laptop, plop in those delicious morsels and have at it. There's plenty more where they came from!

At first I think my body disbelieved me, thus the near constant grazing on them. But as I continued to turn a blind eye (apart from the couple of moments where I started to fight the intuitive eating in panic, but dealt with the panic by writing out how I felt in blog posts, thus negating the actual need for the deed) to the increased swiftness with which I was shovelling in the yumness, my body began to trust me. It trusted that there would always be more choc-raisins if it so wished. Never again would I deny myself, or my body, what it truly desired at any given time.

Perhaps, because I'd done similar things in the past with other foods and it knew I would stick with what I was promising, that was why it didn't take as long as I thought it would. With some other foods it took much longer and larger quantities to believe that I really would not deprive myself of it any longer, the pipe dream was in fact reality. Popcorn? Nuts? Cheese? Those, took me months to realise and I'd eat and eat till it was all gone, and then eat some more. With the chocolate-covered raisins it took me less than a week, and I didn't eat the whole container. Even with Alaskaboy munching on them too, there's still approximately half a cup of them still in the container. Has been, untouched, since Saturday. But, if it had taken more, then more I would have eaten.

I'm guessing intuitive eating is a similar process to what people go through when they work at chocolate plants or other food places where they're allowed to eat as much of the product as they want, whilst they're on the premises. As much as you want, all day and every day, and soon enough it begins to lose its lustre. No longer is the mountains of gold, filthy lucre, it just becomes plain, old metal. With intuitive eating, food loses its magical properties of comfort and becomes simply delicious food.

P.S. Although, if you have allergies or sensitivities to certain foods, I'm guessing you shouldn't just go out and eat them whole hog just because you really want them. ;)

6 Nibbles:

kathrynoh said...

I've read a lot about intuitive eating but I figure I can't AFFORD it!

Btw my aunty used to work at the Cadbury factory and she had that exact reaction. Plus the smell turns you off the chocolate when you are surrounded by it every day (perhaps I need to work in a choccie factory).

c2s Hayley said...

I just had a lightbulb moment reading this post. THANK YOU!

Tonight whilst I was catching up on my reading, I sat hear and ate at least half a large packet of chicken chips, and not because I was enjoying them. I was scoffing. I was actually thinking "I couldn't do this if Brent were here"... how sad is that? That i've come to that point?

I thought I was over all that stuff, but obviously not. Only when I am able to confidently stand up no matter who i'm with and say "this is what my body wants and I will have it and offer no apologies" will I be free.


I had read about it with Lisa jane and agreed with the principle, but just hadn't thought of it in relation to me.


I was still approaching the idea of IE like a diet!!! O-M-F-G!!!!

Sorry for rambling, but Yowsers, you've just been here (or i've been there?) for a major moment of realisation in my life.

I feel like we should hug.


Kada said...

From what I've seen of your blog, Kathryn, it seems you do follow intuitive eating. Well, as much as you possible within your budget contraints. There's nowhere near as much angst or sheepishness as there used to be over at idiet about eating foods that are considered treat foods.
Don't have to be rich to eat intuitively, just do what you can as you can get it. :)

Now, if you worked at a chocolate factory, you'd give up the bliss that is chocobanana balls! Although, permanent employment would be bliss in and of itself I guess.

Kada said...

I'm up for hugs! {huuuuuuugs} Love 'em. :D

I'm so glad you've had an epiphany. Good for you!

Here's to finding the strength to live and eat however you damn well choose!

Wanna_B_slim said...

OMG!!!! I sooooo love chocolate sultanas..... and if I buy them..I do actually sit and eat the whole bloody lot... and i dont have to worry about them for a long time....
I do the same with corn chips and Hommus... eat the lot.. and I am happy then til the next time.. wich can be weeks away....
now scotch on the other hand... hmmm that need is never fulfilled.. haha

Kada said...

What kind of scotch do you like? I've got friends who are scotch conneisuers and the ones they like always taste too peaty to me, gimme good old glenfiddich any day of the week over some fancy schmancy brand. LOL

It's great that you eat and then are happy till the next time. God I remember the days of going out and buying more after finishing the first lot just because I wanted more, even though I didn't really, it was my tastebuds driving the bus at that point.

MM cornchips and hummus! I might just have to go out and get some today. Really fancy some. Thanks! I couldn't think what to have, and that would be why, it's not in the house at the moment!