Saturday, December 09, 2006

Let The Countdown Begin.

I've had a lot on my mind today. But, surprisingly not past my lips. I guess after the HUNGRY days I've had over the last week I'm up for a not-so-hungry day. Although I did sleep in, so maybe that's part of it too, my body is three hours behind what it would normally be doing.

Streak Update, haven't done one in awhile.

Week One - Check. (320 minutes.)
Week Two - Check. (405 minutes.)
Week Three - Check. (397 minutes.)
Week Four - Check. (360 minutes)
Week Five - Check. (445 minutes)
Week Six - Check - (508 minutes.)
Week Seven - Check. (545 minutes.)
Week Eight - Check. (329 Minutes.)
Week Nine - Check. (550 minutes.)
Week Ten - Check. (440 minutes.)
Day Seventy One - Check. (30 minutes aerobics. 10 minutes stretching)
Day Seventy Two - Check. (40 minutes strength training. 10 minutes stretching. 3 mile walk. 65 minutes.)
Day Seventy Three - Check. (20 minutes slow walk. Don't know the distance. 20 minutes stretching.
Day Seventy Four - Check. (35 minutes cross train aerobics. 2 mile walk 45 minutes.)

Seventy four days in a row of a minimum of forty minutes per day. Can you believe it? I'm having trouble, and I'm the one who DID it! So begins the countdown for the final weigh in, and I admit it, I'm nervous. Only ten days to go. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Lift Off!

I'm pretty damn sure that I'm going to successfully complete this 12 week streak, but where do I go from there?

Do I really have as much of a grip on this regular exercise thing as I think, or is this all just to get me that fabulous massage?
What happens if I get to weigh in day and I'm STILL not under 220lbs (100kgs). I know I still don't have it all together in my head about the scales. I feel great, I'm losing inches and gaining muscle, but those scales still bother me! Will I go off the rails completely whilst in Nebraska for two weeks? Will I get lazy? Will I lose tone and fitness because I'll chicken out of doing my exercises despite taking the DVDs along with us?

This'll make you laugh... I cheekily declared to Alaskaboy last night that, "I'm over my problem with the scales, so please feel free to bring them back out of seclusion."

Not even two hours later when I was in the shower, I noticed what was running through my head and I was not pleased in the slightest. It went a little something like this: Cool, I only wanted the piece of pizza and a mocha freezey tonight for dinner so that means I should have a good weigh in. Oh but wait, I'm a little bloated from the cheese I had for lunch, so if I wait until Sunday, which is Alaskaboy's weigh in day, then I can eat lots of fruit and veggies or soup before then to get rid of the salt and so weigh in at a good weight. Or maybe I should wait until the end of the 12 week challenge? So that I don't have to weigh in three weeks in a row, this weekend, end of 12 week, end of Christmas challenge with Kay, oh shit and then again on the 28th because that's the end of the fabulous fifty challenge. Man, I'm gonna be so bloated the last half of this month, just like last month because I'll be due for my period so my results won't be as fabulous as I'd hoped for each challenge they'll be FAT and BLOATED And OMG I SUCK! No, wait, I DON'T suck at all. I'm happy, I'm healthy.. And AH-HUH I know what the fuck's going on!

I sheepishly stuck my head around the corner of the shower curtain and said, "Ahh.. I don't think I'm quite ready yet." He'd figured as much, was just waiting for me to work it out and had planned on asking me this morning if it was truly what I wanted to do, unearth the scaled one?

No, it is not. So, I've done some extensive affirmations last night and today. And as of the time of writing this I will indeed be weighing at the end of each challenge, but for now the scales will be going safely back to ZedZedLand after each weighing. I'm just not ready for the temptation yet. I'll be weighing in at the conclusion of each challenge because it's not the only measure I will be taking. There will be tape measures used, BMI calculators, body fat percentage and photographs. (Is anyone interested in seeing my food diary posts as well for those 12 weeks?) And, even if I don't get below 220lbs or 100kgs by the end of this month I WILL get there eventually. Just like I'll get to my other goals by continuing what I'm doing now. Eating what my body wants and only as much as I'm hungry for at that particular moment, in addition to regular exercise, strength and flexibility training. I am a healthy person, living a healthy lifestyle, ergo I will eventually be a healthy weight.

Ten days to go until the end of my 12 week streak. I must admit I'm very curious as to how much I've lost in that time, and how much I've gained.

I fit into that skirt today, that means by rights I should have weighed today also. I think I'll let it keep until Sunday though. ;)

See, scales aren't the boss of me or my self worth, I'm learning to recognise things before they precipitate a binge cycle, then dealing with it right away, no second guessing involved now. I'm not over my fixation with numbers, but at least I'm not seeing it as a reflection of me. Free form replying to Crankybee's post the other night, I said that I was no longer basing my self worth by the scales (or something to that effect) guess I really did mean it! LOL

My old ways tried to get their clammy hands on me again And I said NO! Alaskaboy knew it was too soon, I'd only been working on this particular issue for two weeks. This time, I pulled out the big guns and shot the shit out LSED's ambush charge. Damn it felt so very good. I do believe it was my first ever quickie. No more than five minutes from beginning to end. Mwuhahahaaha

One more post to go for the day and then I'm done. Promise! lol

EDIT 7:54pm.

{slaps forehead} It's ok, I had a ginormous bowl of pasta for lunch, we're talking two cups of bolognese sauce and 3 cups of pasta here. Ate it while on the phone with dad for a couple of hours. I just didn't realise that I kept eating little bits here and there as I got hungry. Breakfast was only a cheesestick so I guess it was fair to be super hungry by “lunchtime”. ;) Then, about 1.5 hours ago I had some cashew brittle. So, yeah, not much eating, but plenty of nutrient dense food. LOL

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