Tuesday, November 21, 2006

A delicate act of balance.

Last night I was so disenchanted with this whole weight loss thing. Tonight, the fairy tale has regained some of its magic. It might have a little something to do with the B6 tablets I took, one last night and one again this afternoon, but I think the major difference is my perception. Even more importantly, I went to sneak another weigh in again this morning, much to my horror I could not. Sleeping Beauty actually slept longer than her Handsome Prince this morning, so he took the opportunity provided. Banishment of my Nemesis to the Dungeon has been completed. Alaskaboy bade it “Get thee hence!” and it obliged him post haste. Since I was killing trees with a chainsaw at the time (at least that's what it sounded like) I have no idea where the dastard is hiding. And I feel as frolicsome as one of Ms Peep's baby sheep.


Where was I? Perception. Perception really is a balancing act. I'll have to keep hold of my balance bar now that the safety net is gone completely. I don't miss it at all, although the compulsive need to use it will be hard to curtail. Kinda like an itch you just can't scratch. Surprisingly enough now that it's gone, I'm even more determined to go forward as fast as I can, head held high. What could I possibly be using as a balance bar now that my safety net has vanished completely?


It all started when Alaskaboy got home from work and as is his occasional wont he grabbed my bum when giving me a hug. The look of pleased surprise on his face was wonderful to see. He could actually grab A cheek in each hand. Instead of the more accustomed kneading motion he could actually cup his fingers under and squeeze. It shocked both of us. Me especially since I've kinda slacked off with the exercising this week, and I feel like a water balloon that's nigh unto bursting.


Friday night I felt really good when we went out, despite not being able to wear a dress like I'd hoped, because the 18DD/40DD bra that I haven't been able to wear since buying it nearly two years ago actually fit comfortably enough to wear it out of the house. The weekend before last the cups were still too chockers to be comfortable. Instant boob ache. When I took it off after at least three hours of wearing last Friday, no ache whatsoever!


Sunday it was time to change over from my summer wardrobe to my winter wardrobe. Have full sets of clothes in about 5 different sizes, so they don't all fit in the wardrobe. Each change of season I pack away what I'm currently wearing and see what fits for the next. This is the first time in a very long time that I'm actually wearing clothes smaller than the year before. Last year I'd bought a whole bunch of clothes that I was meant to wear over Christmas in Minnesota, due to the groin strain soon thereafter, I didn't shrink into them like I thought I would. A few hundred dollars on clothes just wasted! This week I'm the same weight I was at Christmas last year, but most of those clothes fit.


You hear that scales! The clothes FIT ME! One stretchy kind of material skirt is actually almost too big, gotta wear it for thanksgiving this year and out and about else I may not get to wear it at all! Everything I tried on that is the perfect size is a Large. Goodbye Mr X, we won't be seeing you around here anymore.


The most gratifying perception change occurred when I took my latest set of progress photos. The scale claims that I am 3.5 lbs heavier than my last weigh in listed on the sidebar (as of Saturday morning, and I'm sure it's higher today due to extra bloatiness,) and that may indeed be so. But weight is not everything. The pics whilst showing the bloating also clearly show several places of improvement. Not just slimmer bits or more buff body parts, but also the clothes fit the loosest yet. So loose in fact that I am hereby retiring the size 22W shorts I've been wearing in them and going forth to a new pair.


(A shoe horn won't quite get me into this latest suit of armour, and IF i somehow managed to get it on I wouldn't need a can opener to get out, it'd rupture under its own auspices. But it was purchased from the same store as the sad and decrepit pair I have been wearing to date. Same bat time, same bat channel, same bat brand.) When I tested the mettle of the up and comer last week it plainly lacked in coverage. My hips were oozing out the top, and my belly could not be contained! Tonight, my favour has been granted to the newest knight-errant, Sir Sixteen of Doubled Yew. I hope he favours a journey to TightButDoesUp, home to the foreign minstrel, Eureka Hallelujah! And then, so mote it be, he'll willingly wend his way on through the village of Itfits before doing brave battle against the forces of gravity led by Sir SlipsDown of Baggy Bottom. Any takers on how long before that epic battle occurs?


Here's the form guide if you wish to peruse it.


Lord Twen'two of DubbYuh

http://www.flickr.com/photos/17953084@N00/302524845/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/17953084@N00/302524843/



and his former Squire, now a knight proper, Sir Sixteen of Doubled Yew.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/17953084@N00/302524847/

http://www.flickr.com/photos/17953084@N00/302524849/


Clothes that almost or actually fit, increases in the weights I use for strength training, the look in my husband's eye when he notices a positive change... all of these and more are the balance bars that will keep me walking this tightrope called weight loss. Who knows, I may even venture a cartwheel one of these days! lol

12 Nibbles:

kathrynoh said...

Wow congratulations on the fitting into clothes, how exciting :)

Congrats too on having a man with the sense to hide your scales.

I don't get this whole winter/summer clothes thing, but then the weather here has varied from freezing your tits to melting them off in a matter of days. Consistent seasons are like something out of a story book.

Marshmallow said...

WooOOoooo! What progress you have made, fantastic! Those pants have told you a million more things about how far you've come than those scales. Congratulations!

And when you do manage that cartoon, I expect video in colour! ;-)

Alphamare said...

I have been back and read your whole blog, a lot of it was very inspiring and i have 'stolen a few ideas' such as a specific goal for new years and also the excercise thing, i have set 4 mini goals as an aid to reach THE GOAL. thank you for a funny, honest and interesting blog!!!!

Kada said...

Thanks! Oh it was very exciting. Saved Money (thought I'd have to repeat the shopping trip again this year), got a whole new winter wardrobe, AND found a pair of brand new runners in the closet when I thought I had none left. So.. yeah, saved money twice.
Plus, it's nice to have lovely clothes. I've been slobbing around in the same 8 pairs of pants and t-shirts all year long because that's all that'd fit.

Emminently sensble, that is my husband indeed. (Sometimes, I shake him and say, "Stop being" switching to mock frustrated yelling "so bloody sensible and logical!)

Like something out of a book, or a movie? LOL Southern California weather is STRANGE. It rains maybe, and I do mean maybe, 12 to 15 days out of the year. My first year here they had the most rain ever during winter, and to me it was just bearable. (I didn't find out about the most ever bit until last year. Now I know why the natives were so shitty and confused with the weather that year.)

If we didn't travel interstate to the snowy places or to Aus for christmas occasionally then I'd just have all summer clothing with only a few light jackets and trackpants for the depths of winter. It's SO funny watching the natives walk around of an autumn evening where it's still 18C and they're wearing trackies and ugg boots and even sometimes those pouffy parkas. They're COLD!

I really truly do miss weather. Maybe not the four seasons in ONE day, but four seasons over the year definitely.

Kada said...

"
And when you do manage that cartoon, I expect video in colour! ;-)"


Cartoon, what cartoon? LOL I did mention a cart...wheel. Hmm, although I have a friend who does draw, maybe I could get her to do an anthropomorphic comic of the two pants jousting for domination of the wardrobe. LOL Thanks for the idea.

Paint pictures with words, you betcha, actually draw pictures? Nu-uh! Charades I excell at, pictionary . . . I SUCK!

Death to scales I say! When I last got on them I mimicked Carol Kane's character Valerie (from The Princess Bride) where Billy Crystal's Miracle Max has said that Westley wheezed "To Blave" instead of True Love.
"Liar! Liaaaarrrr! Liar!" (LOVE that movie)

Clothes are a bit more honest than scales or Miracle Max. Although if you dry them in the clothes dryer (i just wrote clothes liar. lol) they can tell little white fibs about how tight they actually are until they settle down a bit.

Kada said...

Hi Alphamare,
nice of you to drop on by and say such lovely things about my blog. ;)

Hope the goals are realistic ones? Nothing more disappointing than setting yourself up for a fall time and time agian. I've done it for years now. {sigh} My weight loss goal for New Years really was not sensible or realistic, but the others definitely are.
I'll be happy with being under 220lbs by then. 2 lbs in five weeks, surely I can manage that, can't I?

Some goals that I've had in the past are small things to other people, but to me are huge. E.G. Having two pieces of fruit a day. I struggle with that, I'm just not a fruit person. I love it, but I don't want it all the time if that makes sense?

Good luck with your goals. Here's hoping we're all healthier and happier by the end of the year. (My main goal is to finish the year happy with my progress, and with myself.)

c2s Hayley said...

Wow! You CAN see the difference in those photos. Just goes to show that all scales are liar liar LIARS! (I lurve princess bride too, I would've got the quote without you telling us - LOL) Good on hubby for hiding them on you. You're new forms of measuring seem MUCH more realistic, and won't do your head in, either! LOL

I have been heading away from weight-based-weight-loss for a while now, and am working on a post on the subject. It's too hard relying on those pesky scales, and kicking ourselves each time they show up their LIES!

Here's to fairytales forever!

Marshmallow said...

Hahahah sorry Kada, typo, I did mean cartwheel - dammit, the comments are nowhere near as witty when you type the wrong words! >_<

Kada said...

I got such a surprise yesterday when I put the 16W shot up against the initial 238lbs shot. I guess because the changes have been so gradual, I'm not losing shitloads of weight every month, that I hadn't realised how much I've firmed up even in the last 6 weeks.

Compared to nigh on five months ago, shocked and stunned Hayls, I'm shocked and stunned.

Princess Bride is one of my all time favourites. :) Wasn't sure if anyone else'd get the quote though. Text doesn't do it justice. ;)

Doing my head in? I kinda feel like a dog who's had its favourite stinky ol' bone chucked in the bin. I keep going to the spot where it used to reside and forlornly looking for it. It has to be there this time. Right?

Funny thing is, we all still attach such importance to those numbers. I know I'm gonna be thrilled when I make each milestone along the way.
I'm curious now as to how weight came to be such an important thing in society. Must exercise my google mojo and see if I can find an answer.

"Here's to fairytales forever!"

And we lived healthily ever after! :)

Kada said...

No wuckers, Raina. I found it pretty funny actually. It did also give me the idea of the jousting pants comic. That should be interesting.

And I can still turn cartwheels. . .at least, I think I can? I still could a few years ago. Honest!
I may just knock myself out with my tits if I try at the moment though. Will definitely post a video when I am able.

FAT BITCH said...

Hi Kada :)

It's hard to type while laughing but I'll do my best. Your imagination and creativity is truly enjoyable!!!!!! :D

Nobody can deny that your body is getting smaller. Keep doing what you're doing, because it's working for you, hon!

I love:

1) the way you and your husband interract

2) Carol Kane

3) The Princess Bride

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, you funny, funny lady and yes, here IS to fairytales forever and ever!!

Kada said...

FB, it could have been harder to type, ya coulda been cryin'. Glad it was the laughing sort of difficulty. Crying with laughter? Now that really is a toughy.

That's what I love about all these blogs, seeing what works for different people. We really are all unique.

Happy Thanksgiving to you too!