I would love to spread the word of this great project far and wide...unfortunately I don;t have a big readership.
Anyone willing to spread the word about cool, non-traditionally patterned clothing for girls?
Kickstarter project ends in 9 days from today.
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
I would love to spread the word of this great project far and wide...unfortunately I don;t have a big readership.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
Then: large bowl of cereal with sugar, 2-4 slices buttered toast with toppings, large mug milky tea with 2 heaping tsps sugar
Now: 1 egg and veggies and reduced fat feta baked in muffin tray, nectarine, all bran with milk no added sugar.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Free from thoughts blurted out onto the screen. Will edit later.
I was very hungry yesterday afternoon
Thursday, October 09, 2014
Turns out I over did the time at the zoo earlier in September. No, rephrasing that, I
expended too much energy at the zoo. I didn't rest enough. I walked too
fast. I forgot that I'm a disabled person. I had a LOT of fun though!
But, I triggered a relapse. Thankfully, it was a mild one. I have pins
and needles in my arms and legs that come and go now. My Neuro wasn't
happy with how much MS activity I've had this year, so I'm waiting to
hear back when they can fit me in for a full spinal MRI as well as my
annual brain one. SO not looking forward to THAT!
On the positive side, I learned a lot from that trip to the zoo. So much that when I went to the Aquarium a couple of weeks ago, and the Werribee Open Range Zoo this week, I took a walker with me. It used to be my nanna's, before she transitioned to a wheelchair, but it's now mine. I can lean on it when I need to, so I'm not fighting to hold my upper body upright while walking on uneven ground. I can sit on it whenever I feel the need. I even use it to carry my handbag/backpack and drink bottle. Alaskaboy even pushed me up the steep ramps on it, rather than head a long way back around to certain elevators.
It's a little depressing to think of how I walked 10km the other year, but a least I'm living in the now. Working with what my body will let me do and learning to respect it and embrace what I still CAN do. SO, I'm thinking thre'll be more walks in my future. I'd been dreading the increase in the heat, but I reckon, as long as I don't overdo it, the walker will help me increase my activity level, and allow me to sit on something in the shade along the way.
Kiddlywink also loves going along for a ride on it too. She'd missed going out with my nanna on it, now we can all go. Someone pushing Nan, me using the walker and all enjoy the lovely walk.
I've even learned more about food and my body, but that's for another post. :)
Monday, September 01, 2014
I feel like a learner driver. I really have no idea how to eat like a
normal person. As a child and teenager I was a competitive athlete so
that always made for bigger meals than other kids my age. No way to
gauge what is a normal portion, for me, anyway. I know how much my
sister-in-law eats, but she's very petite and weighs about 45-50kgs...so
again no comparison. Kiddlywink eats intuitively, we've made
sure to teach her that. Her appetite ebbs and flows and I'm learning
from that how some days I'll be hungrier than others and less so other
Last night, I was really struggling with appetite. I'd eaten delicious meals that used up all my points, but within two hours of eating dinner I felt hollow. That kind of light hollow feeling when I've been out in cold weather all day and want something warm and comforting in my belly. But we'd been out in the sun, had a picnic, gone shopping and had a delightfully warm last day of winter. Sure the wind had been a little chilly at times, but we'd dressed appropriately.
But there I was, still feeling hollow.
Next thing I know Alaskaboy is rummaging in the pantry. I'd eaten a banana five minutes before and it had instantly vaporised, leaving my stomach feeling even more hollow. The herbal tea went the same way. Then he articulated exactly what I was feeling. "I've had cheese and crackers, and now I want nuts and seeds, but I really want to devour the bacon that's leftover from breakfast in the fridge." I waited a few more minutes, because men often have bigger appetites than women, but the hollow feeling got worse. Then I began to feel yuck.
I looked back over my tracker, and sure enough, I hadn't eaten much protein. And no green smoothy for afternoon tea, even though I'd had eaten my fruit and salad with various meals, rather than drinking them. I hadn't eaten the nuts though.
I ended up eating three full rashers of bacon, a little piece of steak, and finally a hot chocolate, when that didn't settle my tummy. (I waited many minutes in between each snack to make sure I was still hungry before eating the next thing.)
Then of course the binge-eater in me wanted to keep going: cheese and crackers, noodles, nuts, the rest of the bacon, but I hung on and kept reminding myself to feel what my tummy was saying, Warm. Comfy. Had Enough. Satisfied.
SO, now I've learned that, FOR ME, three hours sleep lacking plus a day in the fresh air equals Hunger. True hunger and next time I'll make sure to space my protein across the day and allow a bit more of that than the carbs that I seemed to want during the day. Combine the slow burn of protein with the quicker energy of complex carbs to satisfy my body. And have some warm 0 point soup for in between, help remind the tummy it's full.
Sunday, August 31, 2014
I see it, but I haaaaardly believe it!
This Kit Kat is still sitting on our chest of drawers.
Alaskaboy bought me two of them on Monday.
This week I had PMS.
One of them is still. sitting. on. my. chest. of. drawers!
And most important, it wasn't even difficult. Even when he handed them to me, I said, "I'll put this up here for later in the week." I ate one when I wanted, and then didn't even think about the second one until today, then I realised what I'd done!
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
I had a reaction to my injection last night, it doesn't happen often, but when it does it feels very unpleasant. (Basically meds end up in the vascular system accidentally, rather than subcut where it's supposed to go.) My body, after it finishes have the symptomatic response to the meds rushing around my body, goes into a very mild case of shock. This is the first time in a week where I could NOT apply the mind over matter principle. I had to eat what my body was insisting I have. First up a few chocolate malt balls. Then a chicken and mayo sandwich. And finally a cup of tea with sugar and milk. (I did NOT go back and polish off the plate of chicken which my tastebuds so desperately wanted, nor eat more bread or chocolate or cheese or...which considering it's a PMS week? Score!)
After that I continued to follow the usual pattern, my body said," oh I'm safe again... ZZZZZZZ" and I conked out in the armchair. I slept heavily for about an hour, with one or two, "huh I'm asleep, I wanna go to bed" murmurs before waking fully. Knowing I hadn't eaten that much before bedtime in a week, and the usual consequences if I went to bed too soon, I sat up and watched one of those Seconds! From! Disaster! shows that, while interesting in their own right, have way too much filler material packed into the show to make it truly enjoyable to watch. (Air Crash Investigations is my junk tv fairy floss treat.)
I woke up at some hour during the night feeling distinctly uncomfortable. Before, all I could ever identify was TOO! FULL! AND! UNCOMFORTABLE! Last night, because it was no longer normal to go to bed like that, I could feel my actual stomach distended painfully from the fluid and food busily digesting in there, and all my other organs grumpy about being pushed outta the way while they were trying to do THEIR jobs.
Uncomfortable but educational. Learning stuff left, right and centre without food blocking my view any more.
Posted by Kada at 11:01
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
Whenever Alaskaboy and I talk about his job, we end up in an argument. Every. Single. Time. Every. Single. Day. Sometimes the argument can be something as simple as short terse words snapped at each other to end the conversation. Other times it's a full on blow up raging "Discussion" that seemingly lasts for drawn out amounts of eternity!
Six days ago I made the decision to no longer binge, on anything. Because my life was a bit like a trip into the Dark Side, to paraphrase the sagacious one, Yoda, "Healthy Diet leads to Emotions. Emotions lead to Anxiety. Anxiety leads to BINGING!" So, I've started colouring in little rectangles on a piece of paper again, like when I was successfully counting gym attendance. Weight watchers was working a treat...until the cycle continued. I wouldn't binge on food, I'd binge on t.v./movies, books, the internet, etc. My sleep cycle would get all out of whack and then I'd start eating to compensate for the lack of energy and eventually it became a free for all that Nero would have been proud to witness.
It's been six days since I've binged on anything at all. And oh my god, do I have time to DO things! And energy to do stuff! My sleep hasn't improved any, thanks to good ol' sleep apnea, but everything else has improved. My relationships, energy levels, and duh..duh.. DUHHH! My self awareness.
By filling my empty spaces with nothing rather than everything and anything, I learned something.
Two days into my binge free life, I had a clanger of an argument with Alaskaboy. Literally two days. I started on the 20th and the evening of the 21st we were into this huge fight about his work. There are issues of his own that contribute to these arguments, but I can only help the army that's fighting my battles, and oh how I believed my cause to be Just. Not only was I fighting for the Virtue of My One True Love's Happiness, but I was Righteous in my Wrath about his inability to See the Light of Truth that beamed forth from my army's glorious massiveness. So deep was my belief in myself and my cause that I accused him of everything Believers accuse Non-Believers of then I erected the truce flag bearing the universal signal I'm Sick Of This Shit and You're Nothing But An Idiot: aka a giant raspberry giving every one two middle finger salutes, thus leaving the battlefield a smoking hell hole in the midst of our marriage.
About twenty minutes later, as I sat out in the loungeroom, fuming, I looked up to realise there was a creature dancing the electric boogaloo on that smoking minefield. No, Low Self Esteem Demon was vanquished long ago, this was a a breed of creature I was unable to recognise, because as far as I knew, I'd never been subjected to its rule before.
Sure I'd felt envy of friends who achieved great things, or jealous in a friendly or joking way, but that was mostly tinged with happiness for them and their efforts. I' been paranoid that my teenage Great Love Affair had been cheating on me and jealous of any female he looked at, and rightly so as it turned, but even that paled in comparison to what I realised I now had to contend with.
She was horrid, her great green eyes blazed forth across the battlefield, claws bloody red, gobbets of saliva dripping from her putrescent maw as she slavered over the feast I'd just provided her. Sickly pale hair hung in greasy hanks from rent patches in her hide which was the colour of pus. Then her green green gaze focused on my eyes, and bathed my world in a brighter green than any that ever shone forth from any Lantern's ring. By this alone I suddenly knew her name: Jealousy. And that Green Glow highlighted All That Was Wrong and made me offer humble apology to my husband because it was my jealousy at his ability to work at any job he chose that was causing ym frustration with his inability to leave the rut he'd dug himself and choose a career that would bring him all the joy that I'd been Righteously demanding he achieve. Because he is so very unaware at how much he takes for granted that he has the ability to do that. I would give so very much to be Able, not Disabled.
My Green-Eyed Jealousy Monster lives on, but I am aware of her now, and I must seek a way to vanquish the actual foe, and conversations with my husband can now focus on what's really making me angry, instead of it being All His Fault.