Months ago I bought a tin of Quality Street chocolates.
a) because I liked the colour and unusual shape to the tin
b) because I hadn't had them in over ten years
c) Alaskaboy and Kiddlywink had never had them
d) It was Easter
e) There was a LOT of us to share that big arse tin of chocolates.
f) I had a vague idea the tin might be useful for storage
After we enjoyed the contents, the tin sat around cluttering up our bedroom. For awhile now I've had the notion I'd like to use it for a jewellery box. The one I've had since I was twelve, while beautiful, doesn't hold all of my jewellery anymore. But then we realised how little money we had so I put the idea on hold.
Spring has well and truly sprung thus I no longer need my extra fleecy tracksuit pants.
I really don't want them either because they're now too big to comfortably wear.
I held them in my hand and debated putting them in the donation bag. I held them awhile longer and considered the cost of a sheet of felt large enough to suit my crafting purposes, and just how soft and fleecy these pants were, in fact.
The penny dropped.
A big arse tin of chocolates needed a big arse pair of pants to cushion the inside.
(It's not quite finished yet, but I'm letting it percolate through the ol' brain tissue just how I wanna do the inside walls.)
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Months ago I bought a tin of Quality Street chocolates.
Tuesday, October 08, 2013
It's been awhile since I started my Stick It To Summer Challenge. Many months and changes have gone by since then. But, I finally have made progress on all the points I measured way back then, so here's an update!
Fitness has increased so much there's no point even comparing. Plus with my recent relapse I'm still learning what my body can and can't do as compared to a month ago.
Start: 144 cms
Oct 8th: 130cms
Start: Right: 68.2cm Left 71.8cm
Oct 8th: Right: 68.0cm Left: 70.5cm
Oct 8th: 114.5cm
Oct 8th: 122.5cm
Oct 8th: 107.5kg/236.9 lbs
I know some of my measurements were even bigger before I started those challenges, my waist has definitely lost 6.5cms over the past 18 months. Since I didn't have all the measurements from back then, I'm going from when I started the challenges and began to make real strides towards turning my life around for the better. :)
Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Friday, August 09, 2013
Last winter, the thought of going out late at night to walk never even occured to me. Not only because I didn't have jackets to fit, but also because I was too unfit and lazy to consider it. Sure, I'd go out during the day, sometimes. But of a night? Forget it! (To be fair, my Nanna, was getting up every hour on the hour to pee..four nights a week. This winter she sleeps right through for the four days we have her, so we're no longer exhausted.)
Today, due to a mix up between appointment times, I was dropped off first, then, voluntarily, left high and dry at one place. My appointment took longer than anticipated. Instead of being picked up again as expected, I had to walk 3 kilometres to the place where the car had ended up. I did the walk, in cold blustery wind, while wearing only a long-sleeved t-shirt and thin tracksuit pants. Without a drink of water. I did eat a nut bar though, that I'd had in the bottom of my handbag.
Last winter I wouldn't have contemplated walking that far at ALL. In fact I would have been astonished if someone suggested I do so. No, pissed off. Whiny! And I would have demanded them to come back and get me.
(In all honesty I did wait for the bus for six minutes Trying desperately to stay out of the wind behind a narrow timetable sign. And when the bus zoomed straight passed me, I wasn't going to wait another 6-15 minutes for the next bus to arrive..it was warmer to keep walking. And when the next bus finally caught up with me, only a couple of hundred metres before my end destination, I singsonged out loud "Fuck you, I didn't need you, I did it all by MYSELF! I didn't neeed you. I DID NOT NEED YOU. I DID IT ALL BY MYSELF!" I even gave it a bit of the old Evil King With A Physical Defect kind of salute.)
Last winter I was excited when, for a few brief weeks, my beloved Alaska fleecy vest zipped up. Then the lazy kicked in and it stopped fitting me again. Again, earlier this winter it started to fit and I've been loving wearing it. Tonight, the jacket I had bought three years ago, suitable for winter in Minnesota, was too hot. But all my other tops were too cold. And no one else's jackets fit me either. So, I put on a hooded tracksuit zip up top...and then out of desperation attempted to zip up my vest over the top of that.
It fit. With ease. With room to spare.
And then I went for a second walk for the day. To accompany my mum, because she hadn't walked yet. Because this week we made a pact I'd help her to walk a minimum of 20 minutes per day.
A second walk!
I'm still the same weight I was last winter. If not a little heavier, in fact. My cholesterol has gone from 4.6 to 4.4. I'm the same weight but I'm much healthier.
I shall call her, Healthier-Me. lol
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Bad News: Neurologist says I'm not allowed to do the volunteer work at the childcare anymore, because "Your health comes first. But, we'll reassess in 6 months when you're fitter."
Apparently between getting healthier/losing weight, looking after Nan, raising my family, and doing household chores, etc, that's enough of a job for me for the moment. When I told him all I'd done in June he said, "That made even ME exhausted, and I was only listening to it!" Apparently, I'd felt so good that I'd done a few things too many, and pushed too hard. Sound familiar to anyone I know? lol
Better news: All the stresses of June, both good and bad, cause me to have a flare up. That means some of my symptoms are slightly worse than they were, especially the numbness, and now when I relax my head tilts to the left a bit, but my disability scores haven't changed. :)
Good news: He's pleased with my progress, happy for me to keep taking the same meds and continuing the exercises I've been doing. BUT sticking to 2-4 times per week, and to not overdo my life in general.
Best news: It wasn't a relapse. There are no new lesions. Nor are the ones I've got enhancing.
Friday, July 12, 2013
I've spent the last 5 days forcing myself to rest. Also felt the need to check out of the world for a little bit, so I borrowed some Supernatural seasons from the library and had DVD marathons galore! I also increased my vitamin D intake and am feeling steadier. Lots of crying. Lots of dealing with how I'm feeling. It definitely helps knowing what's going on this time, and having a support network.
I arrived at the gym today at 7am, for my prearranged appointment. Felt all virtuous with how early I was there. Felt slightly less virtuous when I walked in just as a class was FINISHING. LOL
We worked out my personalized program...and yeah I was definitely overdoing it last week. It was through excitement at being back IN a gym, but still overdoing it. Not enough rests between sets, too much cardio, weights slightly too high on some things.
So, it feels encouraging to start properly, but also good to know my leg strength has improved even since last week. (weight stayed same but increased number of reps and added another set.)
Very impressed at how they listened to what my requirements were and what my goals are and that they're working with me and my limitations. (Added to my file straight away that I'm not allowed to overheat.)
I'm trying to muddle my way through this, without making myself crazy with what I can or will not be able to do in future. I'm working with what I can and will do NOW.
Monday, July 08, 2013
The last time this happened, I Freaked. The. Fuck. Out.
Last time this happened, I didn't know what was happening. All I knew was that Something. Was. Not. Right.
Last time this happened, I had a husband who was gone 12-14 hours per day, and a young baby.
Last time this happened, we were isolated.
Last time I didn't have a doctor.
This time, I Can. Name. My. Emotions. And. Am. Feeling. Them.
This time, I know it could be a flare up exacerbated by sickness and over-exercising, or it could be a relapse.
This time, my husband works part time, and our daughter is old enough to do some stuff by herself.
This time, we've got a social network to help.
This time I have a doctor.
Last week I had a fantastic week.
The gym I'd joined finished their renovations and I was able to start working out again. I worked out three days. On one of those days we were running late to pick up Kiddlywink, so I power-walked for 20mins (Alaskaboy walked slightly faster than normal speed), to get to her daycare. Another day, in between workout days, I walked a big gully near our place.
On Saturday it was the last day I worked out, plus ran errands, plus cooked up a Korean feast for all seven of us. My brother is back home after a three month European vacation, and I volunteered to cook Korean for him to try. (We all already love it.) He also helped with some of the prep, and I opted out of the washing up.
Sunday I'd planned to go for a walk while having a day out and about on public transport with Kiddlywink and Alaskaboy. Except my body said, "STOP!" I spent several hours napping on the couch.
I hoped that the weird sensations I was getting were because I'd overworked myself and was exhausted.
Today they're still there, so I called to notify my doctor.
He's on annual leave and his secretary has made a note that I've called. She said about the only thing he would do is suggest I get a new MRI and come in for a review...both of which are already due to happen this month anyway.
So, this week, I play the waiting game. Is it a flare up? Is it a relapse? Are my meds still working? Was it emotional stress that caused this, from Kiddlywink being bitten by a dog last month? Was it physical stress from two colds in a row? Was it physical stress from over doing stuff?
I don't know.
But I do know that whatever happens, or whatever caused it, I'll deal with it.
I have the tools and the support network in place. I have the knowledge to know what's happening this time. Those two things are making a big difference.
Yes, I have cried. And I will cry some more. Yes, I have raged. Yes, I am fearful. But, I have hope. I'm still here. I'm still alive. I still have so much better disability scores than so many people. I love and I AM loved.
What really hits me in the gut is that while I'm in remission I can pretend I'm normal. That enough exercising, dieting, injections, and positive thinking will keep the relapses at bay. That I don't have to be aware of my energy reserves or spend them wisely. Then BLAM, my body reminds me that I AM a person with an illness. That I have a invisible disability.
So, I'm not quitting exercising, I'm simply going to go slower and work my way up to 5 sessions of half an hour per week. I'm obviously not ready for that yet. I got excited. I got ahead of myself. I got impatient. Because I've been exercising for 3 days most weeks I assumed I could go to 4-5. Nope. 2-4 is still the best for me.
I'm still excited to work out. I'm still excited no matter what happens.
Because of this website...Active Msers I know, that no matter how my disease progresses, there are still ways to stay active and lead a full, joyful life.